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[icon] mail guy - Notes From the Present Incarnation
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Subject:mail guy
Time:03:13 pm
The guy from the mailroom is starting to annoy me and it seems like the only thing I can do about it is to studiously ignore him. He’s one of those people that are always looking for attention. As if, maybe he used to be the class clown in middle school and didn’t realize he was supposed to outgrow that a little bit?? He’s like 40 now.

You can always hear him from a mile away because his sound effects precede him -- bird calls, kid/cartooney laughter, stumbling sounds, sounds like he just avoided smacking into the wall, fart sounds -- the list goes on. He’ll announce himself with these crazy sounds or, if he's walking up behind you, he's sure to make some kind of noise that would startle the average person and make them turn around. Then of course he’ll laugh it off all goofy and the other person is suppose to be all “man, you’re so crazy!” He loves that. It’s a vicious cycle.

When it isn’t the sound effects he will literally stop in front of you and do the running man or some other crazy dance. If not that, he's asking you for a pen, pencil, stapler, and paper clip -- anything that he can use to segue into a conversation. And he LOVES to talk. About his project, his music, his audio/video side business, the website he wants to launch, some crazy thing that happened to him, some crazy thing his daughters did. Regular things will set him off on a bragging spree about how much money he let his wife spend on the new living room set, how much he saved by cleaning his furnace himself, the latest thing he's doing for some client or another. Or he’ll just stand there and do whatever until you look up and notice him.

Then, of course, he loves to try and snare all the rest of us black folks into his lunacy. LORD HAVE MERCY!!!! WHY does he act like this? The embarrassment.

So I’ve taken to just NOT REACTING to his shenanigans. When he passes by I’m suddenly engrossed in what's on my screen or what's on my desk. (I’ve noticed he'll still try to talk to me if I look like I’m on the phone so that tactic doesn’t work too well.) Or I’ll give him a quick nod/smile/hello and immediately turn my attention to something else. PROLONGED EYE CONTACT IS BAD.

My counterattack seems to be working, but barely. We’ll see. My question is: whose job is it to tell him to stop being a doofus? That this kind of thing is only cute when the Office Max guy does it in the commercial?? That throwing sound effects all around the office and doing the cabbage patch in the corridors isn’t cute? Who’s going to tell him to SIMMER DOWN, NOW?? Because this is ridiculous.
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